A novel approach

I just finished another "romantic suspense" novel. I don't actually like these novels yet if I happen to find one in my possession I usually will read it. These stories have these elements in common:

A man and a woman. The man is a bit older than the woman, sometimes even in his forties, usually early forties if so. The woman is in her thirties 99% of the time.

Both the man and the woman are driven high-achievers. At least one of the two has had experiences with relationships that has led to caution or downright rejection of suitors. The two are thrown together in some kind of life-threatening situation and ultimately learn to trust each other. In the course of this process they have sex, which usually follows this pattern: rapid, clothes-tearing lust that exceeds anything either has known before, deeply satisfying, followed by the slow, sensual version.

The man and the woman have excellent, fit bodies. They work out, they watch what they eat blah blah blah. And, interestingly, much of each other's thoughts about the other focus on looks.

I have never been one who could wear strappy sandals. I have never been one, even at my thinnest, who could thrill a man with my perfect body, my rounded perky breasts, my taut stomach. In other words, I would never be cast in one of these novels.

Reading these novels is like watching a parade of perfect people who find love against all odds. The descriptions of their bodies, remarkably the same in each novel, build a wall against who I am. What I am. They are, collectively, an assault on all but a tiny fraction of the real world. Maybe even that fraction doesn't really exist. It's unlikely. I don't like these novels because they are so much the same, always the same, but many people do. Do these readers become lost in the fantasy, recognizing it for what it is? Or is there a tiny part of them that compares and compares?

Is the fantasy necessary? As necessary as the enhanced breasts and tummy tucks on an exotic dancer? Do we have to have that body in our minds? Or is it possible that we would be able to lose ourselves just as easily - nay, more so - if the characters really resembled real people? I'd love to find out.

My life, my life, my life

Fat is the theme of my life. Even when I am thin, which isn't that much of the time. Fat has made me what I am, good and bad, and I hate it for the bad parts. I hope, through this blog, to at least reach a level of acceptance in my heart, consistent with what I believe in my head.

It is frustrating to live in a world where so much "common knowledge" is in fact not even true. I won't repeat the statistics of how many Americans believe in ghosts and alien abductions and other paranormal activities - in a way, I can understand much of that. What distresses me, what seems hopeless to counter, are the beliefs that are promoted by what should be reliable sources for truth. The medical establishment. The government. And in fact I know that many people in these organizations believe what they say. How we got to this place is an ugly story that has been told from different angles by better writers than I. Fact is, we're there, and it's damned hard to fight it.

Heroes, in my opinion, are those who hold fast to their beliefs in spite of ridicule, of being marginalized, who continue to tell the truth even when others are laughing at them. Yes, some of these folks are truly deluded - that doesn't make them less than heroes to me. But those are not the ones I am going to discuss here.

The heroes in the fat world are those who took the time to do the research, write about it, and who continue to talk about it. Talk about how we've gotten it wrong. How we do the wrong research. How we believe the wrong things about ourselves and others.

Let's start with health. Fat does not, in itself, mean you are unhealthy or that your life span will be shortened. What is often blamed on fat is more correctly attributed to specific food choices, lack of activity, genetic predispositions, for starters. Fat people who are physically active are statistically healthier than thin people who are not. And are just as healthy as thin people who are physically active.

It doesn't matter that this is the fact. People still look at me, friends and family, and see a person who is unhealthy.

Here's what hurts: to make any kind of impression on others I have to lose weight and then make the claims. That is, as a thin person I can make assertions about fat that I cannot make while I am fat. This because most people will assume I am simply making excuses for my lack of diligence. Again, there but for the grace of diligence, go I, is the mantra of the never-been-fat.