My life, my life, my life

Fat is the theme of my life. Even when I am thin, which isn't that much of the time. Fat has made me what I am, good and bad, and I hate it for the bad parts. I hope, through this blog, to at least reach a level of acceptance in my heart, consistent with what I believe in my head.

It is frustrating to live in a world where so much "common knowledge" is in fact not even true. I won't repeat the statistics of how many Americans believe in ghosts and alien abductions and other paranormal activities - in a way, I can understand much of that. What distresses me, what seems hopeless to counter, are the beliefs that are promoted by what should be reliable sources for truth. The medical establishment. The government. And in fact I know that many people in these organizations believe what they say. How we got to this place is an ugly story that has been told from different angles by better writers than I. Fact is, we're there, and it's damned hard to fight it.

Heroes, in my opinion, are those who hold fast to their beliefs in spite of ridicule, of being marginalized, who continue to tell the truth even when others are laughing at them. Yes, some of these folks are truly deluded - that doesn't make them less than heroes to me. But those are not the ones I am going to discuss here.

The heroes in the fat world are those who took the time to do the research, write about it, and who continue to talk about it. Talk about how we've gotten it wrong. How we do the wrong research. How we believe the wrong things about ourselves and others.

Let's start with health. Fat does not, in itself, mean you are unhealthy or that your life span will be shortened. What is often blamed on fat is more correctly attributed to specific food choices, lack of activity, genetic predispositions, for starters. Fat people who are physically active are statistically healthier than thin people who are not. And are just as healthy as thin people who are physically active.

It doesn't matter that this is the fact. People still look at me, friends and family, and see a person who is unhealthy.

Here's what hurts: to make any kind of impression on others I have to lose weight and then make the claims. That is, as a thin person I can make assertions about fat that I cannot make while I am fat. This because most people will assume I am simply making excuses for my lack of diligence. Again, there but for the grace of diligence, go I, is the mantra of the never-been-fat.